My child is greedy. Why? What to do?

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Greed’s the quality, unacceptable in society; therefore every parent wants their children to be kind, sympathetic and becomes indignant when the child doesn’t want to share their toys, pieces of furniture or some personal belongings. With peers, parents, siblings. Frustrating, I didn’t understand the reason of such behavior of my son, 2,10. However, after had referred to the works of psychologists, I realized that it’s considered normal. Now I would like to share some ideas from these clever books with you.

Before, I want to note that a two- year- old as well as a four-year-old kid doesn’t have developed abstract, logical thinking. It appears approximately to nine years. And till this age the child takes everything literally.
«The need to identify, strengthen, stake out the fact of his own existence in this world presents in the child’s behavior very clearly. Quite early it becomes an important subject of personal human effort and doesn’t leave him throughout life. For the kid this problem is particularly acute. Due to the fact that underdeveloped self-awareness won’t give him sufficient evidence that «I am», the child constantly needs external evidences of the fact of his existence.»

«All the more clear why the kid is so concerned about his place of his tableware at the table: cup with gnomes, plate with mushrooms, spoon with bear. These items aren’t just things that have value, they are child’s signs substitutes, they help him to mark his place, fasten it in the minds of others, to approve the self, to materialize his «I».»
Excerpted from: «The secret world of children in the space of the adult world.» Ossorina M.

How zealously the kid accepts the fact that his bed will be occupied by someone else or someone else will have lunch at his table. These are HIS personal belongings. How carefully we need to talk to the child, » to organize the situation diplomatically subtly.» Respectfully, understanding the essence of such behavior. It’s very important that «the kid doesn’t feel forced out of his rightful place».

Actually, it’s important to determine the own place for each family member, to designate the personal things which no one will touch, and furthermore, will take without permission.

«<> in friendly, well-organized families where each family member is respected and unique; where good relationships are built, usually everybody remembers about where whose place is, where who prefers to sit, and, according to it, puts the cups: for daddy — with a ship, for mum – with a rose, grandma’s favorite — with blue leaves, for granddaughter — with a cock, etc.
Sometimes it’s important to emphasize the value of a family member, to show respect to him through his things-symbols. This is your place — no one can take it besides you; this is your сup — no one can give it to the visitor; this is your desk — you’re his owner, no one will restore order on it without asking you.»
Excerpted from: «The secret world of children in the space of the adult world.» M Ossorina.

It’s so important to note for yourself, as a parent, such moments of everyday life, to arrange them in the right way, to learn to be diplomatic with your own kid. And, most importantly, not to worry about it — just to try to build a competent communication with the child, which in the future you could be proud of.

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3 Comments

  1. Give consequences for greedy behavior. That day, each of my kids had to fill a box with 10 toys they no longer play with. A charitable group came the next week to pick up the goods. Now every time a new toy enters our house an old one has to be given away.

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